Jennifer Garner: Being a mother was one thing I knew I was going to be
Jennifer Garner has a big profile in the latest Allure. The editorial is fantastic. I think Jen is pretty, but I don’t think she’s a great model. They did such a good job styling her, though. It’s a mix between ‘70s glam that she rocked beautifully and this Next Gen Blade Runner thing that plays perfectly into her stiffness and cut cheekbones. The interview is pretty good too, albeit not exactly earthshattering. Jen hit most of her common talking points: being from Appalachia, being a mom, loving being a mom, being known as ‘nice’, raising her kids, social media, and her family. So it wasn’t exactly shocking to read that Jen always knew she’d be a mother, no matter how that happened.
She knew she’d be a mom: Being a mother was one thing I knew I was going to be. I really could have been a mother in any way. I could have adopted, I could have fostered, but there was no doubt I was going to be a mom. I mean, I was the kid with the doll everywhere I went. And I had a babysitting company with my friend Carrie — C & J’s Babysitting — from, like, seventh or eighth grade.
Her kids will watch their dad on screen but not their mom: They don’t mind watching their dad, but they kind of want me to be their mom. They don’t want to see me upset and women cry more in what we do. And they don’t really want to see me in a romantic thing.
She trusts her kids (now): Your kids will really figure out who they are and what they are when they’re older, and most likely they will hew toward lovely. I have a lot of faith in my kids. I don’t love every behavior all the time, always. It’s gnarly growing up. We didn’t have the eyes on us that our kids have. I was such a first-time mom. [My eldest daughter] didn’t have a shot. She couldn’t have a free thought — I was all over her. I was a nightmare for everyone around me.
She pushes back on her ‘nice’ reputation: The problem with, ‘Oh, she’s so nice’ is that when I have any kind of boundary, people think of it as much more than it actually is. The problem is being recognized on a day where I’m not so nice or when I have blackness in my soul. I’ve definitely had days where I just can’t do it. I scowl at people before they can walk up to me. I’m not perfect, and I don’t think I’m rude, but I’m not good at being fake. I’m an open book of a person.”
She doesn’t read celebrity news: I learned a while ago that I’m way too sensitive to what is written about me, my family. The only things I have on my phone are The New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal. I can’t even have CNN. I used to love the Huffington Post, but anything that has a celebrity section [she shakes her head. Sometimes, she sees other celebrities and has no idea] that they got married and had a baby.
She has an interesting take on social media: The paparazzi have calmed down so much for me that I’m back to being in the world. I’m not getting chased into the grocery store to have whatever is in my cart photographed. Maybe my life is happily boring enough that there’s nothing to see here. I think social media helped calm it down, actually. You have your own relationship with people.
I said the exact same thing as Jen when I was single, that I would have kids regardless of my relationship status. For me, it was because I was becoming increasingly aware relationships weren’t my thing, but I wanted a child. Turns out, I love being married, at least to the person I married, and motherhood was not my thing (although I absolutely adore the people I mother). So I am both happy and jealous of people like Jen who wanted children so much and it turned out to be everything they wanted, in the way they wanted it. Jen has a lot going on outside of motherhood – producing, acting, Once Upon a Farm, etc. – so it’s not like she won’t have an identity when her kids leave. She just reached for her gold ring and got it in this area. I’m genuinely happy for her.
I was snarky about all Jen’s ‘mom’ talk above, but I’m not knocking her for it. I don’t think it’s because she can’t talk about anything else, I think those are the cards she’s willing to show. In this way, I feel I know Jen. She can deflect any subject by offering up topics that sound like she is opening up. But what is she saying above that isn’t surface level or something she’s already said? She’s created this perfect cocoon to protect herself and her kids all while letting us think she’s being vulnerable. I respect that.
One sweet note: the interviewer starts the article by telling Jen a story about her kid going to the same school as Jen’s (which Jen didn’t know). One day, the interviewer’s daughter had a mean girl situation happen to her and was in line trying not to cry when an older girl asked if she was okay and comforted her, making her feel better about all of it. The older girl was Violet Affleck. See? Jen not only loves being a mom, she’s obviously doing it well.
Photo credit: Allure and Instagram
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pLHLnpmirJOdxm%2BvzqZmcWlma4V0e8mepaehlpq%2FoLPAq6Weqo%2BXsqq6xpiYmKWfqbWmvr6wmKyXn6OyoMDHoqWgl5mUuK%2Bx1pigmK%2BRqKyou8innpisn5Svpns%3D